9 Signs You’ve Got A Good Guy
Here 9 Signs That Let You know You’ve Got A Good Guy
Is he a good guy? When you’re dating someone new, things can move very quickly and before you know it you’re in a full-blown relationship. Some women find themselves attracting toxic men and end up wasting their time.
Recognizing a good guy can be like looking for a needle in a haystack at times. Especially if your relationships usually end with you being heartbroken or disappointed. Too many letdowns will cause you to develop trust issues that can blind you to the good qualities that some men have.
Believe it or not, there are specific traits to look for in a guy that separates those who have good intentions vs the ones who will just waste your time and hurt you.
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Considerate:
Most men come across as considerate at the beginning of getting to know each other but a good guy not only considers what he can give but also what he can get. Meaning, he doesn’t want to make all of the decisions himself. He wants to include you in plans, dates, and food choices. That’s right… food choices!
Many women think that just because a man asks for your input that he’s passive or not a “real man.” Nope! If a man genuinely likes you he will want your opinion in order to make decisions that benefit both of you. This is one trait that most women overlook because of bad dating advice.
Good guys take what you have to say into consideration to better accommodate the both of you. When you turn down his small requests it’s a form of rejecting a man. Not only will he consider what you have to say, but he will also pay attention to you so that he can observe your needs and wants.
Relationships grow stronger when a man considers your thoughts and suggestions, but how can he if you don’t give them?
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Caring
Closely related to consideration, you want a man who actually cares about how you feel and what you think. If he doesn’t care he won’t take what you have to say into consideration anyway. Most guys start off caring but again not giving your suggestions early on will cause even the most caring men to not care.
Think about it like this, when a guy cares about you early on he will go out of his way to make accommodations that benefit both of you. However, most women don’t know how to receive care from a man because they don’t want to come across as needy or clingy. This has the opposite effect when a guy is caring. It says to him “I don’t need or want what you have to offer.” Ouch!
I hear men all the time going out of their way to give what they feel is the most valuable thing they have to offer (which is usually time in the very beginning) and end up feeling rejected. Not wanting to spend time talking or hanging out signals to him that you’re not interested, even if you truly are.
Don’t let not wanting to come across as needy or clingy be the reason that you miss out on a good guy. Men care differently from women but take the time to see how he cares and it will give you access to who he really is.
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Willing to Engage in Dialogue
Piggybacking off of talking and hanging out, a good man will engage in dialogue with you. Meaning, he isn’t afraid to open up about himself and talk about anything. He will be willing to talk about his shortcomings and want to appear personable to you.
He won’t try to impress you with his stuff because he knows he is the most valuable thing that he has. Which means he offers who he is rather than what he has. The good guys that I know want sex obviously but they also enjoy getting to know you and building a solid connection. This takes time to build.
When I was single, there were times I was a good guy and a not-so-good guy! As I matured and finally got to a place where I knew who I was and what I wanted, sex became less important. I focused more on the internal connection rather than the sexual connection.
When I came to that place sex became easier to get because women were able to recognize the energy and patience mixed with no pressure. So when I did invite women over, they felt comfortable and enjoyed the conversations… (and the sex)
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Tells You the Truth Not What you Want to Hear
Good guys know that the truth may not be what you want to hear, but it makes things easier in the long run. I know this sounds obvious but 99% of women can’t handle the truth. So that’s why guys lie!
When you’re dealing with a good guy he doesn’t try to spare your feelings in order to make you feel good. No! He tells you the truth so that you can really get to know him on a deeper level. So many women are not ready for a man that is transparent about who he is and his past.
Not to mention there are a lot of guys who want to appear as someone they’re not to impress you. But a good man doesn’t try to impress you with who he thinks you want him to be. He hopes that you’re able to recognize the good qualities that he has to offer and get to know him more.
So the real question is, how comfortable are you with the truth? Of course, you’re going to say you can handle the truth! But men can tell by the way you handle things that they don’t go your way. If you get super upset because people don’t do things the way you want them, then he will act accordingly and not tell you the truth!
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Has your back
This comes further in the dating process. By having your back I don’t mean that he agrees with everything you say or do! Having your back means telling you the truth or pointing out that your dress doesn’t fit or that you have crust in your eyes.
He won’t let you go out there looking crazy… Even if you don’t like it or think it’s appropriate but he wants to make sure that you are presenting your best because that’s what he would want for himself.
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Responsible
Not that the things he has is unimportant, no! He takes care of his possessions and not only that if he has children outside of the relationship he spends time with them. I also like to think of being responsible means being attentive. Meaning he pays careful attention to the needs of the things that he owns or in his possession.
Responsible men make great fathers and husbands because they do the things necessary to make sure that they stay up to date. He also keeps steady work and pays his bills and doesn’t always need the help of others.
To me, it’s the little things like misplacing keys and wallets, that let you know he’s NOT a responsible guy.
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Forgiving
Good guys don’t like to hold on to the past because it stops his growth and the growth of a relationship. Sure, he gets upset, angry, or frustrated but ultimately he wants what’s best for you and the relationship. So he would rather forgive and move on than stay stuck on things that won’t make a difference in a week or two.
You might think that he doesn’t care or that he’s not considerate but sometimes it’s best to move on from arguments or disagreements that disrupt the harmony of a relationship. A good man is willing to forgive in order to keep things together. Don’t expect to just walk all over him and he just lays there and does nothing though, everyone has their limits.
Nevertheless, he understands that you have flaws and has already accepted them.
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He Continues to Become Better
He’s not flawless by any stretch of the imagination either. But he continues to try to become a better man, he has goals and ultimately wants to become a better man. This is important because you need to know that he’s becoming better and progressing in different areas.
If he’s a good man, he’ll want to be better than he was the day before and this means that he won’t settle for who he was yesterday and neither should you. I like to say “anything that’s not growing is dying or waiting for death to come” and this includes people and relationships.
If a man is striving to become a better man everyone and everything around him will become better also. Just make sure that you are becoming a better woman than you were before also. Don’t leave it up to chance but be open to his suggestions or else you will find that he’s outgrown the relationship with you.
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He’s a Man of His Word
Good guys keep their word and do whatever it takes to make things happen. Does this mean that everything he says will happen? Probably not, but as a woman, it’s so important to pay attention to his efforts. Sometimes as men, we want things to go as planned but oftentimes it doesn’t. I think the important thing for you to look for is his ability to be open and look for answers on how to make things better. Also, pay attention to what he has to say after what he says doesn’t happen.
Is he apologetic? Is he looking for things he could’ve done differently? Let’s say he forgot to call you or make plans. Does he try to help you understand why he couldn’t or does he act as nothing happened? There is a huge difference there, mainly that he takes you and your feelings into consideration.
More Ways to Know He’s a Good Guy
If you have a good man, make sure that you’re open to him. Not trusting and being open will quickly push a good man away. I’ve seen far too many women become stuck on their expectations of what a “real man” should be and end up in a “real bad relationship.”
Good men are everywhere but they can only present to you what you’re able to accept. This is why so many women find themselves in toxic relationships with narcissists and players. That’s all they know and can accept as boyfriends and husbands. Now of course there are way more characteristics and traits of a good man.
These are just a few and some of the ways to know you have a good guy. You can learn more in The Husband Material Guide, where I share 20 traits of a man who is ready to be a husband and how to prepare for the relationship you’ve always wanted. You’ll learn how to date the right way and attract the right man for the right relationship… That is if you’re ready…
