How A Man Knows He’s Found THE ONE
How Does a Man Know He’s Found THE ONE Woman He Wants to Be With for The Rest of His Life?
As easy as most women think men have it in dating, to be quite honest it’s not! Especially when it comes to knowing who to build a life with. On the one hand, meeting women is pretty easy. You have dating apps, social media, nightclubs, bars, and you have friends setting you up for dates. But how does a man know he’s found the one?
Having options doesn’t make it easy for a man to find the one woman a man could spend the rest of his life with. It’s an exhausting process and one that I’m glad I don’t have to go through anymore. I saw a picture of my now wife (Coach Elulu) on Instagram and just knew she was the one for me.
When I saw her, I knew she was THE ONE! How did I know? How do most men know when they’ve found THE ONE woman they will spend the rest of their lives with? In this post, I’m going to share with you how most men knew when they found the ONE woman they wanted to share their lives with.
How a Man Approaches Dating
I first have to start off by letting you in on my experience. Dating came relatively easy for me, I’m a decent-looking man and make decent money. But impressing a woman with those things was never the most important thing. I always valued connection and the process of getting to know someone and I never wanted to come across as a sleazeball or anything like that.
I genuinely cared about the women who came into my life. There are no accidents and everyone who enters our lives is no coincident. So, I purposed in my heart to understand women and the type of woman that would make a good wife for me as I go older.
I dated with the intention and purpose of not settling for just any kind of relationship. This helped me a lot because even though some women looked good on paper there were a few things that wouldn’t allow me to be with them.
Emotional Guides & Barriers
The main thing was my feelings, I call these “emotional guides” and all men have them. When a man grows into maturity and learns to trust his feelings they lead him and protect him from entering into the wrong relationship. This takes time and a lot of self-reflection.
Mine served me well. There were some amazing women that I crossed paths with in life and would’ve made good wives. But none were able to unlock the emotional barriers that were beneath the surface. I knew what the ideal woman would do to me and how I wanted to feel when I met and got with her.
This is what men who have found their soulmate shared with me also. They expressed that they just knew when they saw her. She did or said something that triggered a response in them that let them know that she was THE ONE. My wife triggered that for me in ONE Instagram picture!
What Sets THE ONE Apart?
Through my dating process, when I took the time to get to know a woman, I realized that they only wanted marriage, a boyfriend, a family, or love more than they wanted a man. I knew that perspective wouldn’t work for me because as humans we always superficial things and the more we get, the more we want. It’s a never-ending cycle.
And once we get what we want we start looking for the next thing to want. So a relationship like that would never have time to rest and refresh. Couples in that type of relationship lose touch with one another and start to drift apart as time moves on as their wants change.
Getting to know the person you’ve chosen to be with over and over again is something that most people don’t think about. Not just women, men do this also but it really stops a lifelong relationship dead in its tracks. So I wanted a woman who wanted me more than she wanted what came with me.
I had gotten to a place where I heard the same things over and over again from different women and it had become redundant. I wanted a woman who was unique and different but familiar at the same time. This means that the woman that I wanted had to define herself in a special way.
Every Man Looks For Different Qualities
Every man looks for different qualities from the woman they want to be with, some guys want a woman that can cook, clean, and take care of the home. Some want a woman who is ambitious and is a go-getter and some just want a trophy wife. The difference is how different she is from what he’s accustomed to attracting.
She has to know who she is and what she has to offer or at least be open to suggestions from him. Openness is one thing that every man looks for in the woman he wants to be with. This doesn’t mean that she’s a pushover and doesn’t speak up for herself but she has to be willing to listen to the right person… Him!
This quality is what sets my wife apart from other women. When I suggested things that she could do better, she did them because she genuinely wanted to be better, with or without me. Other women would sometimes listen because they thought it was what it took to get me.
Qualities that men look for in women are what lets us know we’re on the right track and the relationship has the potential to go further. A man knows his wife because she compliments him where he is at different stages of his life.
He will love her for life if she continues to be open to change and is willing to make adjustments as their journey continues. This is the beautiful thing about relationships and marriage, especially when you get it right. Changes come and have the potential to make the connection between a man and his woman better but they also have the potential to make relationships go sour. So we take risks that the woman we choose will continue to possess the qualities that made us want them in the first place.
Love Will Find You When You’re Genuinely Ready!
I didn’t look for my wife, the opportunity found me when I was ready. I had gotten to a place in my dating life where getting women became easy. Sex came easy, meeting them was easy, keeping them was easy but over time none of that was satisfying. It became empty and felt like I was going through the motions. It didn’t take long before I had more women at one time than I could count on my hands and feet. I longed for one woman that I could be satisfied with. To put it a different way, I wanted to be a homeowner and not a renter!
Then one day I finally said to myself in January 2013, “I’m ready for a woman that I can be with for the rest of my life, she would be my priority.” I had no clue until later that my wife all the way in Canada said something very similar to herself.
My wife had also gotten to a place within herself where she was tired of dating and tired of feeling like she was going through the motions. She was dating guys that had no real intentions for her and couldn’t see her potential. She said to herself “I want a man that is going to prioritize me.”
How crazy is that? She said this in February 2013, and on May 11th, 2013, I saw a picture of a group of women while scrolling on Instagram. I looked at the picture, saw her, and said: “that’s going to be my woman!” But there was a HUGE problem! There was no @ on the picture with her name, only a hashtag #Elulu. So I looked around for her on IG but couldn’t match the face with anyone. Desperate times call for desperate measures… I did the next any rational would do, I Googled her name and all I found was her work info.
Persistence Pays Off
Nope! I didn’t call or email her at work though. I’m not that crazy! So I continued looking for other ways to get in contact with her. After scrolling page after page and going through all of the anime ‘Elulu’s’ I finally found her Facebook profile. I clicked on Google images just to be doubly sure it was really her.
Then I hesitantly got onto Facebook and mosied over to her profile. Hmm… “Should I message her or send her a friend request?” I thought to myself and decided to send her a friend request on May 11th. (This was my mother’s birthday and Mother’s day). I waited while constantly checking my Facebook every hour on the hour.
Well two days later on May 13th, 2013 at 1:04 pm she sent me a message saying “Thanks for the friend add” (yeah, I had to go back and double-check the time.) I replied “No thank, you pretty lady! How are you?” Our conversation continued and we were married a little over a year later on June 1st, 2014.
The moral of the story is you should always be ready because you never know when the right person is searching for you.
What You Can Do Now to Be Found!
Going back to the qualities I looked for, had she not been open and kind we wouldn’t have the love that we have now. I genuinely found my soulmate on May 11th, 2013, and fell in love with her. I knew she was THE ONE without knowing, all from a picture on Instagram.
Something pulled me in her direction and her kindness unlocked feelings within me that I never knew existed. The emotional barriers in me were designed specifically for her, she had the key. We were lead to each other because we were similar and wanted the same thing. PRIORITY!
We wanted real love and were willing to do what it takes to make it work. This is what happens when a man sees the qualities he’s looking for in a woman, he has no choice but to inquire further. I’ve never done anything like that before but I just knew. And because she was open and willing, it made me more open and willing to who she is. This how a man knows that he’s found the ONE woman he wants to be with.
This exact thing happened to Adam when he saw Eve the first time, he just knew. He said, “This is now bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh she shall be called woman…” Genesis 2:23. What he was looking for was found in her but he first had to know what to look for! He had observed all of the animals and determined “but for Adam, there was not found a helper comparable to him.” Genesis 2:20
Adam was able to recognize that Eve was completely different from what he observed up until he saw her. As soon as he put his eyes on her he saw everything in her that he was looking for. When you meet the one you just know so just be patient and kind and your Adam will find you!
Author:Coach R. Anthony
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