How to Get Over Your Trust Issues in 8 Steps
Use These 8 Questions to Determine the Areas You Have Trust Issues and Begin the Process of Rebuilding Trust
Learning how to rebuild or build trust can be a tough hill to climb. Disappointment after disappointment can leave you feeling like you’ll never be able to allow someone in again. For most people, getting to a place where they could ever see themselves fully relying on someone to be there, and love them, seems far fetched.
You probably grew up seeing relationships end up in heartbreak, or from your own experiences, and you don’t think it’s possible to fully trust someone. This is why I wanted to share these 7 steps to help you start the process of rebuilding trust. While this 7 step process isn’t a quick fix, you will be heading in the right direction and see the light at the end of the tunnel.
To get the most out of this exercise, go through the process and write down your answers in a journal or somewhere that you can refer back to. You can also record yourself answering the questions out loud with a recorder. The main focus is to see or hear yourself expressing your inner thoughts. Be sure to answer these questions honestly and don’t sugarcoat with your hopes. Just let them flow without overthinking.
1. Ask yourself “In what areas of my life do I have trust issues? For example, if you have friends and family members that you trust, use those relationships as models for developing trust in other areas. This should give you clarity in the areas of your life where your trust issues lie. Is it men? Then that is the area you need to work on.
2. Ask yourself “Why do I have trust issues?” Our lack of trust usually comes from past disappointments and we use them as a way to protect ourselves. So identifying what created your lack of trust gives you a place to start rebuilding.
3. Ask yourself “What do I have to do to overcome my trust issues?” While you may not have the answer right now, lets hypothetically say that you could, what would it take? Someone apologizing,
4. Ask yourself “How do I know when I trust someone?” At what point within you does it click that you actually trust someone? If you don’t know, this is the perfect time to look back over your past relationships to determine when you knew you finally trusted someone?
5. Ask yourself “What would it take for me to trust someone?” Another way to put this is “What does someone have to do in order to win your trust?” Defining the terms of your trust will allow you to trust someone in stages. That way the process is on your terms.
6. Ask yourself “What would life be like for you if you didn’t have trust issues?” Most people don’t think about how life would be if they didn’t have trust issues, and rightfully so. A lot of people lie and make themselves to be something they’re not, this is why you’ve probably developed trust issues in the first place. So think about how things would be if you didn’t have trust issues and write them down.
7. Ask yourself “How do I feel when someone breaks my trust?” Of course, you will feel hurt, embarrassed, and ashamed that you put trust in someone who broke your trust. But to go a step further, how do you feel about the people who have broken your trust in the past. By going deeper into how you felt about the person/people, you will start to see that even though they broke your trust and how you felt then it isn’t exactly how you feel now.
8. Ask yourself “Have I ever broken someone’s trust?” Lastly, in what ways have you broken someone’s trust? I hope by taking this step, you will see that even though you have broken someone’s trust in the past, it doesn’t make you a horrible person. You’ve probably changed since and have learned from your mistake. This is exactly where people in your past who have violated your trust are. They are still growing and changing as we all are.
(Download “How to Get Over Your Trust Issues in 8 Steps” worksheet)
By going through this process, you will begin to see that you actually trust people, there are just certain areas where you don’t. Many women who I walk through this process with, begin to see that their main issue is trusting men, especially men who are interested in them.
They subconsciously believe that dealing with men will eventually leave them in pain, lies, heartbreak, and/or disappointment.
Their desire to have the relationship they always believed they should have is so strong, that they will override their core beliefs about men and continue forward anyway. But in the end, they end up feeling the pain, heartbreak, and disappointment they initially wanted to avoid.
However, the key is to deal with the core beliefs that lead to a lack of trust. Because it is the core beliefs, mixed with their desire, that causes them to overlook the subtle signs that would’ve protected them from what they didn’t want to happen.
I believe in living my life by the truth, and with that, I seek what is true in others. When I tell people that I trust everyone, they look at me like I’m crazy! Well, the reason I can say that I genuinely trust everyone is that I trust the truth. It is the truth that makes us free, not just the words and actions of a person.
This is why I wrote The Husband Material Guide to help women see the truth in who they attract, as well as, how to attract someone who will be able to see them for the woman they truly are. Grab a copy from our store today so you can start your process of rebuilding trust and finally get the relationship you deserve.
Coach R. Anthony
Author:Coach R. Anthony
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